Broken

I broke today. I gave in, and started looking back on my life tonight. (Sarah) Stoehr today made a comment on my life with girls. And I know I'm stupid. But I looked back today, and I really don't know what I saw in (Sarah) Barker. She gets on my nerves. But, I don't know, there was something there. Of course, it was probably the (near) sex, but still. When she wasn't pouty, or being a butt, she was fun to be around.

So I found an old picture that she drew a while back. When we were still dating, and there were only small signs that something was wrong. I really hate getting attached to people and then breaking it off. I'm doing it with Thomas now. He and I aren't married (like I was to Barker), but we are still breaking up, little by little. It makes me sad. Almost to the point that I want to call him up and go drinking with him. But, I won't. I just want to.

And so, for all those people out there dating, I wish you luck, and give you a warning. Don't get to attached, you never know what will happen. I dated Barker for two years. Didn't change things. Don't be immoral with the person, set boundaries (like no making out (it's one of mine, I know that it would lead me off the good path), not being together alone at night, and not obsessing over each other and spending every waking hour with/on-the-phone-with each other), and don't make your life focus around the other person. I broke all those, and realize now that they are pretty good rules. I had people telling me them, and didn't listen though, so I don't expect anyone else to though. But this goes out to all of you (Stoehr, Matt, Keshia, Eric).

And now I am going to go off and look up more on Barker, and e-mail her, or something. Maybe just go cry about my life, and wish that Thomas would come with a liter of amaretto.

Cast

• Screw this, I don't feel like it right now.