Lostness

Heh, angsty post time. If you don't want to read me whine and complain, then stop.

I'm not gonna post about SICM. I mean, a lot happened there, but it's so far in the past now, that I can't remember it in detail, only the overall feeling of God's presence that I felt. I feel like crap for not remembering it, but that's the way it is. So, sorry, my stories are gone now. The only stories I will tell from SICM now are stories that other people tell me. My memories are down the drain.

In more recent news, I've felt really disconnected recently. Disconnected from work (and so I quit), disconnected from my friends (so I went to Arlington to see my homies there, and have tried to get together more with my compadres here), disconnected from God (gosh, I need to get my prayer butt in to gear), and then disconnected from life in general (as though I'm just kind of watching it all).

I quit my job at Steak 'n Shake. But only because I have a different job. I'm hoping that maybe it will work better. I'll be working as a server at a Cowboy Western themed steak house called Love and War in Texas. Maybe better pay, but I don't care that much. I just want to be connected again.

As a side benefit of not working at Steak 'n Shake, I no longer work with Sarah, so that's no longer a reason to not date. So, I talked with her, told her that the only reason not to now, is if she plain didn't want to date me. So, she said that she would at least go out on a date with me. A step in the right direction I guess. (Can someone explain the idea of gossip to me at some point, because I'm not sure if what I am about to say is gossip) Eric put a thought in my head though, and it makes me sad. He mentioned about Matt telling him how Sarah doesn't really like me, and is just being nice to me because that is the type of person she is. Now, I don't really think that much, because I think of Sarah as more straight forward than that, that she would tell me she didn't want to date me because she didn't like me, if that was the case. But still, it's a thought that's in my brain now. Stupid brain of mine.

By the way, I hate being the guy. Having to guess what the girl is thinking, and consider what move to make, and having to be the one to decide where you go on the date, what happens on it, who goes, and just does most of the decisions. Not to sound sexist here, but gosh. You women have it easy. Just flirt with the guy and wait. That's it. Then make a choice to stick with him, or go on. Gosh, I wish it was that easy for us. But, the whole point of this tangent, is me saying "I don't know where to go on a casual date." I've never done casual dating before. So, any ideas are welcome.

So I got nicely connected back in with my Arlington peeps last night. I skipped out of work after an hour, because they had to many people, and decided to go back to Arlington for the night. I had been trying to get together with Thomas for a few weeks, and just got so impatient that I decided to just go there. I got to see…

I got interupted. I may finish this post later. But this is what you get for now.

Off I go for ice cream.